I lost my Mom when I was seven and somehow never felt like I learned how to dress, how to do my make-up, how to buy quality vs. quantity… all the things I imagined girls with mothers learned.

Many years ago I saw an ad for a place called The Total Image Academy.  The ad featured a picture of a beautiful lady who promised to help you look your very best.  She would help you create your own personal style and maximize your best features.  I wanted this.  I couldn’t afford it then, but I wanted it.

I guess I must have really wanted that makeover because it's many years later now and I'm actually doing it.  I write articles for Strive Magazine, a health and fitness journal, and this experience will be an article for them and a story on the “Better Body” segment of the Channel 13 News at 10 here in Los Angeles. 

So far, it's been fun but it hasn't "fixed" it.  Although the experience has taught me a lot and the advice has been valuable, the makeover expert isn't Mom.  I read the book "Are You My Mother?" by P.D. Eastman to my son regularly.  It's about a little bird whose mother isn't there when he hatches and he goes off in search of her.  He asks every animal and thing he sees, "Are you my mother?" After finding out that the cow, the dog, the kitten, the boat and the crane are not his mother, he eventually finds her and they live happily ever after. I'm always happy for the bird at the end of that story and very sad for me. 

I realize that I'm still searching for her after all these years; like that poor little bird.  And even though I know I won't ever find her, part of me still hopes, and wishes and searches.